A letter Poe wrote to his foster father John Allan asking that Allan and he reestablish a more friendly relationship
[Text: Edgar Allan Poe to John Allan - October 16, 1831.]
Baltimore. Octo: 16th 1831.
It is a long time since I have written to you unless with an application for money or assistance. I am sorry that it is so seldom that I hear from you or even of you for all communication seems to be at an end; and when I think of the long twenty one years that I have called you father, and you have called me son, I could cry like a child to think that it should all end in this. You know me too well to think me interested if so: why have I rejected your thousand offers of love and kindness? It is true that when I have been in great extremity, I have always applied to you for I had no other friend, but it is only at such a time as the present when I can write to you with the consciousness of making no application for assistance, that I dare to open my heart, or speak one word of old affection. When I look back upon the past and think of every thing of how much you tried to do for me of your forbearance and your generosity, in spite of the most flagrant ingratitude on my part, I can not help thinking you myself the greatest fool in [page 2] existence, I am ready to curse the day when I was born.
But I am fully truly conscious that all these better feelings have come too late I am not the damned villain even to ask you to restore me to the twentieth part of those affections which I have so deservedly lost, and I am resigned to whatever fate is alotted me.
I write merely because I am by myself and have been thinking over old times, and my only frie[n]ds, until m[y] heart is full At such a time the conversation of new acquaintance is like ice, and I prefer [w]riting to you altho' I know that you care nothing about me, and perhaps will not even read my letter.
I have nothing more to say and this time, no favour to ask Altho I am wretchedly poor, I have managed to get clear of the difficulty I spoke of in my last, and am out of debt, at any rate.